Nursery at what age?

[Thumper]

I went to nursery when I was about 4 1/2 - 5 years old if I remember correctly, that was in the UK. The trend these days seems to be to send the kids much earlier. My son is 2 years and 3 months old, and it has been suggested that it would be beneficial for him to attend now. I'm not really sure about this, as I feel he may be a little too young, and I worry he will loose out on his English skills. My wife does not speak English that well and we basically communicate with each other in Thai. I on the other hand speak exclusively to my son in English.

I visited a very good nursery today with lots of equipment, educational aids and many other facilities. The staff seemed to know what they were doing and two of them spoke English very well. They assured me that they do about 50% of the teaching and activities in English (not convinced about that) but they do have lots of DVD's such as Thomas the Tank Engine and Bob The Builder etc.

The argument is will my son develop faster if he is in a nursery environment mixing and learning from kids his age and slightly older, or will at his young age be better off remaining at home.

I'm a first time father so I would appreciate some advice from others who have been through this.

[dereklev]

My son Matthew started Nursery at age 2 years 10 months and now he loves every minute of it. The early days were a bit traumatic with tears aplenty but he soon settled in to the routine.

We do keep him out of school some days to go and do other things as I still believe he is to young for the "rigid" regime that even nurseries in Thailand follow. His teacher does not like that I do this as she says his is the age that thay teach the children to be "Thai" and as a leuk khreung Matthew needs to learn this more than the Thai kids. Other than singing the National Anthem and showing respect for the King and Buddha, both of which Matthew has been taught from a very early age, I have yet to work out what she means.

His teacher speaks some English and takes time to speak to him in English whenever possible. I would be very interested in seeing the Nursery you mention as I would like him to have more English input than the NonThai Nursery can offer.

Can you please post the name and directions, thanks.

If I had my time again I think I would have kept him at home for another year, the house is an awfully empty place when he is at school.

[SportRider]

The important thing is don't get stressed about the decision and rely on your instinct.  If it feels too early to you, it probably is.

It depends a great deal on the child.  Some will thrive at any age, but for some a full 'working week' at kindergarten every day is just too much.  We did not send my youngest daughter to kindergarten until she was well past 3 yrs..

Ignore anyone who says your child will develop faster if they do this, or that, or anything.  Raising young children is not a race.  This is a time to enjoy your child and give them comfort and confidence that will last his/her whole life.

[george and dragon]

My eldest daughter went to nursery when she was just aged 2 and loved every moment of it she did a full week aswell no problems.
My youngest daughter did not take well to nursery at first and could only manage 2 full days a week, She was ready for full time at age 3.
In the UK and when we lived in Australia the children started School at age 5 for Infant School.
There was no differance between them in matter of learning speed, Both have turned out doing very well,
I agree with Sport rider, Its time to cherish really and it does depend on the child as to weather they are ready.
It may well be worth trying 2 mornings a week at first to see how he takes to it and then if he's doing well step it up.

[Bryan(of Oz)]

G'day all,

I remember going to my parish Catholic nursery school from age 3 to 5 in the UK. But I don't know if it was compulsory for we Tykes, but we all did it. Does anyone know?

My alternative to nursary school was to spend even MORE time with my gran who had raised me almost since I was born.

From age 5 onward, I continued through both the Parish's junior (primary) and senior (high) schools.

I don't think spending the time in school affected me...maybe it DID ...who knows! ...and from memory not a great deal of time was spent on religeous matters either. I enjoyed early age friendships, some lasting for many years into adulthood. I also escaped the usual traumatic "day one" when starting school at age 5.

However, I also have to agree with those parents who want to keep the little one at home for just a bit longer ( I  tried it myself with my 3 daughters, but they wanted to go to "kinder" at age 3 like all the other kids!). My wife and I relented and it has'nt hurt them.

Good luck parents.

[Thumper]

The wife has made the decision, he is not going to next year now.... I must admit that I did not argue with her, as my instincts says he should be at home at this age.

[MrChokChai]

good on you thumper

you did good

[cathyy]

I think that's really wise choice, too!

His English language development will be more rapid and easy in the next year or two than ever again in his life. Keeping him home to optimize his English skills is something that will be of longer-lasting benefit to him than nursery. And if he's not really ready for nursery, he's not really ready. In fact, if YOU aren't ready, it may make him not ready. 

[dereklev]

When the new school year started in May instead of my son doing a second year of Nursery he was put into Anuban 1.

The teachers discussed this with my wife, I was in England at the time, and decided as he was "clever" he would start Anuban 1 then instead of continuing in Nursery.

I would never have agreed to this if I had been here as I feel he has been "robbed" of a final year of play school.

He goes to a lovely school in NonThai with small classes and great teachers but I feel that it is too regimentated for such a young boy.

He was 3 years 5 months at the time and he loves every minute of school so it is not a problem for him.

My question is at what age did your kids start Anuban 1.

[cathyy]

Dereklev, I am thrilled to see how much concern you have for making sure your son gets the best upbringing possible. It's really wonderful to see!

I think a regimented school life will do your son no harm, and can actually help him. Children his age thrive on predictability and structure. Because kids cannot control their environment they are reassured by knowing what will happen next, how it will happen, etc.  It makes them feel safe and secure, and that's a good thing.

One of the hardest things for children to learn is impulse control; there are far too many who have never learned it in the US. A school more rigid than US schools is going to help curb impulses; he will begin learning to think before he acts, especially if you encourage him to "think first" at home as well. Good impulse control leads to kids who are less likely to engage in senseless mischief when merely bored. It might sound fun to throw rocks at cars on a day with nothing to do, but if thought through it will seem less appealing.

If your son is clever, he will be better off with mental stimulation and challenges than with more play time. Smart kids get bored more easily and they will find ways to amuse themself. Better to channel that cleverness into learning skills that will be useful.

[Jared]

My Niece has just started school at St Mary,s, she was 3 years and 4 months. Caden Can start next may at 2 years and 7 months but I think id rather keep him in nursery and send him to school at 3years 7 months or even later depending what his nursery is like. What is the official age that children start school in Thailand? don't we not start school in the uk until were about 4?

[dereklev]

Thanks cathyy, I try my best.

I am an older dad and have a 30 year old daughter from my previous marriage. When she was born my work kept me away from home a great deal of the time. I missed so much of her formative years that I think I am now compensating for that with my son.

I am not fully retired and stay here 9/10 weeks and then return to the UK for business for 3/4 weeks.

The first couple of weeks I get back here each time are spent putting back the predictability and structure into his life. Thais just do not seem to understand the need for this. My wife is a great mum BUT does not like to discipline Matthew until something gets broken or someone gets hurt. Matthew has her wrapped round his little finger and knows exactly what strings to pull to get his own way. He knows he cannot do this with daddy...

He is clever, but he seems to be growing up too fast. Because he is in Anuban 1 now he will remain amongst the youngest in his class for the rest of his school life with the majority of his classmates being up to 6 months older than him. I think that puts a lot of pressure on him to try achieve things that may be above his capapbilities.

Another factor is in the UK we start Infants School at 5 years old. So for me it just seems too young. I probably agree, if I am honest, that it is better to channel his energies into learning skills from which he will benefit rather than constant play which does bore him. However I have now forever lost my little boy and he is now a schoolboy....

I understand the importance of impulse control and am a great advocate of teaching this. He is also learning the value of sharing his possesions. We live in a village 40kms from Korat and he is the rich "farang noi". He divides his toys in 2 lots, the big robust plastic toys and lorries etc. very quickly end up in a communal play area we have put by the side of a lake. The ones from which he learns, mainly those that I buy, are kept in his bedroom and only a couple of cousins are allowed in to play with them.

The schools here are certainly rigid and disciplined which I find fantastic after the shambolic school system we have in the UK nowadays. Inner city schools are heading the way of their US counterparts and violence sometimes ending in death, a rarity even 5 years ago, is becoming commonplace.

His language skills are very good despite being a late starter, something I read was not uncommon in children subjected to 2 languages from birth. I am his main source of English, apart from cartoons, and he constantly amazes me with new words he has learnt from who knows where. His mum's English is ok but basic, she speaks to him in English much of the time particularly when I am away. When I come back from my trips it takes a couple of days for him to get up to speed and then it is "full steam ahead". Learning Thai, or should I say Isaan, was never going to be problem as he is surrounded by it.

cathyy, are you an Educationalist by profession or just a very good mom sharing her wealth of knowledge?

[cathyy]

A little bit of both, Dereklev. My kids are about the same age as your daughter. I also got a lot of psychology and child development in my Nursing courses. I was blessed with a mother who had the greatest gift of mothering, the ability to let go when it was time. Sounds like you're having a hard time with that. It's tough!

For what it's worth, I was the youngest child in my class from the time I began school until the time I graduated.  I had children as much as 11 1/2 months older than me in my class, most of them 6 or more months older. I turned out okay.

I'm sure your wife decided what level to place your son based on what she thought would be best for him, and she is probably right. It was suggested to me that my daughter get double-promoted from kindergarten, skipping first grade. She was doing second grade math and reading at a third grade level when she completed kindergarten. I refused to allow it, because she was barely at age level emotionally, and very small for her age as well. It was the right decision for her. Her husband was given the same opportunity in a primary grade, and his parents chose to double-promote him. It was the right decision for him. They will probably have to decide in another year or two whether to allow their oldest daughter to be double-promoted, as I'm sure it will come up. They have the experience between them to make an exceptionally well judged choice for her.

I have read that indulging children is the Thai way. I can see how a strict school environment could be helpful to balance the spoiling at home. Kids are very resilient and adapt to such variations.

Boy are you right about the horror pits the schools in the US and UK are becoming!

[blue eyes]

Our thoughts on this are ........Put the kids in as soon as they can talk to you and tell you what is going on in the school.If they where to be abused you would never really know unless they can talk to you and tell you.Very important!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jared]

I thought Id continue on this topic rather than starting a new one. The little man has his 2 year birthday at the end of the month and the wife and I both fell it is time for him to start nursery. Were not looking for anything full time, maybe a nursery or playgroup that is 2 or 3 days a week or even half days. The most important thing for me is that he has a good time, enjoys the activity's and mixes well with the other children. An English speaking Nursery would be perfect but I'm not holding my breath, currently his Thai and English skills are very good for his age, hes a right little chatter box. So what are the options in Korat for nursery's or playgroups? Ive seen a lit of adverts for a place called Kidsgenius or something like that, I also read on another topic about a place called plukpanya. I know there are a lot of people on the forum with kids a little older than mine so where did you send your children and can you recommend any places?

Thanks
Jared