Highway Code

[Saf]

How frequently do we hear fellow farang complain about driving standards in Thailand? Too often, perhaps, and yet it's all so simple and easy to understand if only one knows the rules. I have not seen an English language version of the Thai Highway Code so perhaps I could take the liberty of suggesting what it might contain, if only for the benefit of confused and frightened newcomers to LOS roads.

Rules of the road vary according to type of vehicle and here they are:

Private vehicles - see below
Motor cycles - none
HGV's - none
Buses and coaches - it is obligatory for them to attempt the land speed record on every trip out of town.
Other commercial vehicles - none

These are he rules that apply to private vehicles, the type that most farang drive.

1. You may make an attempt to anticipate the next move of the driver in the next lane ahead - or you may see no point in attempting to anticipate an imbecile.
2. No-one will attempt to anticipate your next move, even if you are approaching from behind at twice their speed.
3. Drive on the left - where you will be facing up to 25% of the oncoming traffic.
4. Lights are optional at any time after dark. If you do choose to use them you may wish to set the dipped headlight beams high and fit some tasteful blue pinpoint lights on the bonnet.
5. Only Thai women get away with refusing to show their driver's licence to a police officer.
6. You may turn left at most red lights unless the driver in front is in the wrong lane or can't be bothered to move. Otherwise, traffic lights are advisory.
7. When in a lane which is closed ahead for repair, accelerate past vehicles in the lane which remains open and pull over at the very last moment. The roadworks teams help with this by giving no advance warning of the closure.
8. 'No Parking' stripes apply only to you.
9. Pedestrian crossings are not serious.
10. Regard motorcycles as a mass of fluid that will wrap itself around you whenever you are forced to stop in traffic. If you stop behind the white line at traffic lights, should one exist, so many motorcycles will flood past and in front of you that the lights may change to red again before they get out of your way. Impatience, however, may lead to further delay.
11. In order to reduce the number of occasions on which you crush motorcyclists, regard them as being equally well versed in road safety as a chicken that has been separated from its head.
12. Truck drivers know that you cannot hurt them. They also know that there's no need to use their indicators because they probably don't work and their mirrors because they are dirty and they are quite sure that you have reactions of greased lightning. Imagine that every truck driver is either blind or having a nap and you'll live longer.
13. on a three lane carriageway, the middle lane is the slow lane. If that's full, use the outside lane. Fast vehicles may use the slow lane or any lane where there is a gap between other vehicles almost equal to the length of their own.
14. Only through lighted cigarette ends from your moving vehicle if a motorcyclist is behind you. All other rubbish may be thrown at any time.
15. Seatbelts have no purpose.
16. Bald tyres are known as 'slicks' and enhance the speed of a vehicle, especially in the rainy season.
17. Efficient brakes are what you get on a new vehicle.
18. Vehicle servicing is for sissies an rich farang.
19. As a general rule, you can do anything that you want on Thai roads so long as you do it slowly.

[Jeff1]

I like #11 and I belive #19 

[rawdonlad]

20. Always carry money when travelling and contribute when asked to the police welfare fund

[koratwanderer]

21. An oncoming driver who flashes his headlights at you is not saying " I have seen you and I am prepared to slow down and let you complete your manouvre in safety." He/she is saying "I have seen you, and I have no intention of being courteous to you. I am going to increase my speed to make sure that you don't pull out, and if you mistake my meaning it will not be my fault if I kill us both."


Also, for pedestrians:-
1. If you think we painted Pedestrian Crossings on the road to enable you to cross in safety, think again. We had lots of white paint left over so we thought we'd paint some pretty stripes on the road. Do not expect vehicles to slow down to let you cross the road. If one vehicle does swerve or brake heavily to avoid you, it will cause an almighty pile up behind it, which will be your fault.

[Bryan(of Oz)]

20. Always carry money when travelling and contribute when asked to the police welfare fund

LOL  .....'aye lad, just like thee do up in Yorks.   

Cheers mate!

[LAWMAN]

Bryan

We only sell/sold tickets to the Annual Police Ball
every Christmas              

[Bryan(of Oz)]

Bryan

We only sell/sold tickets to the Annual Police Ball
every Christmas              

G'day Lawman


Ah yes......the  daily Christmas you mean?    lol

[nookiebear]

Well I actually had a Copy of the Thai Highway Code In English last month when I took the M/c test in Nang Rong.Some of it takes some believing I can tell you.

[Saf]

Well I actually had a Copy of the Thai Highway Code In English last month when I took the M/c test in Nang Rong.Some of it takes some believing I can tell you.

Come on then, don't keep us in suspense! 

[nookiebear]

The one which really made me chuckle was 'A Roadsign with an Aeroplane  on it',the wording underneath stated if you see an aeroplane landing or taking off you MUST STOP until it has passed safely before proceeding!!!!!!!!!!!