One can never be too Paranoid in Thailand

[Bullitt]

Mrs Bullitt is the worst:
When I come back next life,  you no worry,  I find you!
Oh,  .....that's ....err....... good.
You no worry, I find you, we be together forever!
Oh, err,....right,.....yeah,.....ok. 

What if I come back as a woman and you come back as a man?
Goooooooood..... then I have all the money !


Picture this:
I'm leaving Le Concorde Hotel on Ratchada the other night.
The door man, (on the inside of the hotel), opens the door for me
and say's   'Can I help you Sir' 

Isnt that what they usually say when you walk in? 


One of my Thai project engineers insists on calling the  'day before yesterday'.... 'yesterday's yesterday'
He's almost got me thinking that this is ok.


It always disturbes me when the wife says,  'mak mak a little bit',
........what on earth does she mean?

Why does the Bangkok Post and the Nation always report a
compelety different version of the same story?

The little marketing girl, in her funny outfit handing out promotions
and leaflets to people passing by with great big smiles,
suddenly gets all cold and withdrawn as I approach, with that look
on her face that says :
'Falangs can't play this game'.

Work:
So......did that delivery go ok last night, Somchai?
Khrap
Is that a Khrap yes or a Khrap no?
Khrap.
Chai, mai chai?
Khrap

Girl in the office:
How are you tomorrow?
What?
How are you tomorrow?
I, err,  I'm not sure.
Mai bpen rai.

The wife called and said she got a shock from the electric rice
cooker.
Apparently it was my fault.......... electricty is a Farlang thing..........


I get in a taxi with a Thai and I tell the driver where to go and he goes there.
I get in a taxi alone and tell the driver where to go and he stops every mile or so to ask for directions.

I'm in a not so super super-market buying two cans of beer:
Solly Sir, two minutes.
What?
Two minutes before 5 a crock - points to alcohol selling time notice.
It's Sunday!
Solly Sir.

You Farang, you no understand.
Yes I do
No, you Farang, you no understand.
I understand perfectly.
Farang baa


Reading too many internet forums, filled with 'Thailand old hand experts"
Listening to too many bar stool "Thailand old hand experts"
.............................better not to listen.

Cheers,

Bullitt

P.S. ..............and what exactly does that Thai smile mean?

[Jeff1]

That about sums it up.
Then it's time for lunch.

[kyzlor]

Not sure but I think my favorite was, "My friend you lady she moho you because my friend you not to home, mak mak." Which I finally realized meant that my friends wife was mad at me because we stayed out late doing falang stuff. I'm still not sure about the last part whether she was very mad at me or my friend didn't go home for a long time. I sure didn't check and fortunately left the country next day. All was forgotten and forgiven by the time I returned.

[Pompui]

Mrs Bullitt is the worst:
When I come back next life,  you no worry,  I find you!
Oh,  .....that's ....err....... good.
You no worry, I find you, we be together forever!
Oh, err,....right,.....yeah,.....ok. 

What if I come back as a woman and you come back as a man?
Goooooooood..... then I have all the money !


Picture this:
I'm leaving Le Concorde Hotel on Ratchada the other night.























The door man, (on the inside of the hotel), opens the door for me
and say's   'Can I help you Sir' 

Isnt that what they usually say when you walk in? 


One of my Thai project engineers insists on calling the  'day before yesterday'.... 'yesterday's yesterday'
He's almost got me thinking that this is ok.


It always disturbes me when the wife says,  'mak mak a little bit',
........what on earth does she mean?

Why does the Bangkok Post and the Nation always report a
compelety different version of the same story?

The little marketing girl, in her funny outfit handing out promotions
and leaflets to people passing by with great big smiles,
suddenly gets all cold and withdrawn as I approach, with that look
on her face that says :
'Falangs can't play this game'.

Work:
So......did that delivery go ok last night, Somchai?
Khrap
Is that a Khrap yes or a Khrap no?
Khrap.
Chai, mai chai?
Khrap

Girl in the office:
How are you tomorrow?
What?
How are you tomorrow?
I, err,  I'm not sure.
Mai bpen rai.

The wife called and said she got a shock from the electric rice
cooker.
Apparently it was my fault.......... electricty is a Farlang thing..........


I get in a taxi with a Thai and I tell the driver where to go and he goes there.
I get in a taxi alone and tell the driver where to go and he stops every mile or so to ask for directions.

I'm in a not so super super-market buying two cans of beer:
Solly Sir, two minutes.
What?
Two minutes before 5 a crock - points to alcohol selling time notice.
It's Sunday!
Solly Sir.

You Farang, you no understand.
Yes I do
No, you Farang, you no understand.
I understand perfectly.
Farang baa


Reading too many internet forums, filled with 'Thailand old hand experts"
Listening to too many bar stool "Thailand old hand experts"
.............................better not to listen.

Cheers,

Bullitt

P.S. ..............and what exactly does that Thai smile mean?

Better not read anymore either.

[Bullitt]

Better not read anymore either.
[/quote]

Dear Pomp,
I guess what I'm trying to say, (in my feeble way), is, if one decides to live in a very different country and culture from that where one was born and brought up, one should accept the differences and not ask why to much.

I guess I was just thinking out loud, in a way.

I must stop writing so cryptically.

Cheers,

Bullitt.

[johnboy]

this is a differant country and if you dont go with it it will chew you up and spit you out, healthy paranoia is a good thing here bad things do happen, the thing i do is try and keep as low key as possible, the thai smile has a million differant meanings its a face saving exersise basically meant as to always keep up apearances even when life is beating you down, as farang we will always be looked at and treated differantly to thai people even if we are fluent in thai and have lived here for 50 years we will always be farang. with the introduction of the thai rak thai party in thailand i think 2002 thai people seemed to have gained a big sence of national pride that is maybe why most people will side with the thai in most cases rather than the farang in many disputes. sorry for a serious responce to a light hearted and amusing post just my 2  bahts worth.

[Wayne]

don't get mad, get even, Every Thai I see on the street here in the US I point my finger at and yell Farang, look at the farang. They shy away but I think get the point.