You Know When You Have Been In Thailand Too Long When:

[Wayne]

when you go back to work in America and start answering client questions in Thai! OOPS!

[Vinnie]

When you step onto an escalator as if you were stepping onto a tightrope stretched across the Grand Canyon.

[johnboy]

 

[Bullitt]

Not my work, found it in cyber space, but I think it fits right in here.

You Know When You Have Been In Thailand Too Long When:

You wear a smart suit with lime green flip-flops
You ask a person where they have been when they are carrying 6 Robinsons shopping bags.
Use the expression Lot Tit (traffic is bad) more than 20 times in the same day.
You go swimming with all your clothes on
Put sugar on the sweetest fruit
Carry your bus fare in your ear
Watch a whole movie through the window of a video shop
Stand at a bus stop, but run towards the bus when it appears on the horizon
Irritate everyone on the sky-train by talking loudly on your mobile phone and saying khap or kha a lot
Actually start smiling while watching a game show on TV
Enjoy looking at other peoples crappy holiday photos
Carry a little poodle around the supermarket
Stand in the express checkout line at the supermarket with enough shopping to feed an army
Buy the largest box of popcorn physically possible, and go into the movie theatre ten minutes after the film starts.
Spend 5 hours choosing a lottery ticket
Read all the books and magazines in a book-shop before deciding not to buy anything
Listen to the TV or radio about 10 decibels louder than it needs to be
Cover your head with a sheet of soggy newspaper during a rain-storm
Order a Big Mac, large french fries, massive Coke, and an ice-cream, and only finish the ice-cream
Walk on the footpath as slowly as you can in a zig-zag pattern
Produce about 50 different kinds of plastic at a supermarket check-out before realising the one you want is still at home
Dilute your whisky with enough soda to render it virtually colorless
Stand at the mouth of an escalator and have an in-depth conversation
Get into an elevator before everyone else gets out
Order the hottest dish on a menu, and then spend the next ten minutes telling everyone dining with you how hot it is
Put a toilet roll in a gaudy looking box on the coffee table instead of up in the toilet
Stand around and gawp at a supermarket display of shampoo because theres 2 baht off
Manage to fall asleep on the washing line
Adopt the same routine for 52 weekends a year
Pride yourself on not knowing where the southern bus terminal is
Or where Malaysia is
Own a tape cassette collection of 120 tapes, of which 119 of them are soundtracks
Have posters on your wall which include two babies kissing each other, and one of that tennis girl scratching her arse
Park your car in the living room of your shop-house
Organise a trip to Pattaya, which includes a guitar, an enormous ice-box, and five people who all turn up three hours late

[dutchy124]

Some classic ones there. My three favourites are:
1. Carry your bus fare in your ear
2. Park your car in your living room
3. Fall asleep on a washing line.

Keep them coming, brightens up a dreary day

[TeeRoy]

You are no longer surprised when attending a funeral wake, and they publicly announce the deceased's amount of life insurance, and whom the beneficiary is. Much to the pleasure of the long lost relatives......

[YimBob]

my own ewperience...

when you begin pointing with your lips instead of your finger

burn the garbage

bending your head when passing your grants in your home country

say meibelei to falangs in your home country

thinks laokrao is not so bad

freezing in morning and refuse to work in the afternoon

eat turttle

wants to try eat dog and cat

mosqito is not that big problem

bought the racket for kill mosqito with a hole i mittle for give them a chance

call yourself ATM when thailady ask

agree to yourself the ...-flush is better then tissue...and bring it home to your home country

can fix everything with a spoon and a piece of wire

can the thai national anthem

500 mts. is way to for walking

not give thai politics a damm, red or yellow are just two string on the violin

tell/teach thai people abourt thai history

when ask a thai how fare is there to ?? and they say 100mts you calculate up to a 1000mts

can taste if the chili is fresh or not...and same with rice

begin to say "beinei" to every one who passing your house, even you never see them before

sit and write at this topic  

[Vinnie]

When the girl handing out leaflets doesn't ignore you.

When you think it's good business practice to open a shop identical to the one next door.

When you stare at farangs.

[joefarang]

my own ewperience...

when you begin pointing with your lips instead of your finger

burn the garbage

bending your head when passing your grants in your home country

say meibelei to falangs in your home country

thinks laokrao is not so bad

freezing in morning and refuse to work in the afternoon

eat turttle

wants to try eat dog and cat

mosqito is not that big problem

bought the racket for kill mosqito with a hole i mittle for give them a chance

call yourself ATM when thailady ask

agree to yourself the ...-flush is better then tissue...and bring it home to your home country

can fix everything with a spoon and a piece of wire

can the thai national anthem

500 mts. is way to for walking

not give thai politics a damm, red or yellow are just two string on the violin

tell/teach thai people abourt thai history

when ask a thai how fare is there to ?? and they say 100mts you calculate up to a 1000mts

can taste if the chili is fresh or not...and same with rice

begin to say "beinei" to every one who passing your house, even you never see them before

sit and write at this topic  

ha ha - a few beauties in there yimbob!

spoon and wire to fix everything!

ps - i LIKE lao kao - am i the only farang in thailand who does?

[YimBob]

Joefarang !! I can only talk for myself... I only drink laokrao, when I have to be polite or for free..same same..
It's to hard for my stomach..two shot's very fast and I die(throw up). I like "chenzoon" I think that is how it spelled..

I live in a small murban(in da' bush) Ban chot....close to Chokchai... today just paid 50 baht for a tractor level some soil...and 250 baht for a load of soil(a small blue truck "inzuzu")...







 

[joefarang]

Joefarang !! I can only talk for myself... I only drink laokrao, when I have to be polite or for free..same same..
It's to hard for my stomach..two shot's very fast and I die(throw up). I like "chenzoon" I think that is how it spelled..

I live in a small murban(in da' bush) Ban chot....close to Chokchai... today just paid 50 baht for a tractor level some soil...and 250 baht for a load of soil(a small blue truck "inzuzu")...


yep i know the "shengzoon" stuff - chinese herb liqor in a black and red bottle.  too sweet for my taste, but i like the other one in a similar looking bottle - called "lao seua" - means "tiger whisky".  the red label on the bottle has a piture of a leopard on it - leopard in thai is "seua dao".  try it if you see it, it's not as sweet as the "shengzoon" and nothing like as strong as lao khao.  it's widely available in bangkok but less so up-country - but Tesco has it!




 

[Loz]

yimbob, you made be cry laughing. I thank you.

BTW, Pbai nai?

That was classic. but the one you forgot...

You know you've been here too long when you stand next to someone at the fruit market and ask "Ma sur aria" ( what have you come to buy?)

Actually I don't think we've been here too long, I think we have just settled in.